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African American Mothers Single Parents Article
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Adjusting To Life As A Single Mother
from: Karlie BestlerThere are many ways to end up as a single mother. Some are single mothers by choice. They have given birth or adopted a child on their own. These single mothers are probably more prepared for being a single parent than some of the other single mothers out there because they chose this state willingly.
Others are single mothers because the husband or partner died. These single mothers may not have been prepared to be alone and certainly did not choose to be raising children alone. The children are dealing with grief and missing their father, and the single mothers are missing their partner. Healing takes time and the single mother must give the whole family the time they need to adjust to the new circumstances.
Most single mothers are single parents through divorce or the break up of a long-term relationship. The children's father may or may not be involved in their lives, and he may or may not help support them financially. The bulk of the child rearing responsibility usually falls to the single mother.
Regardless of how you became a single mother, you have a lot on your plate. You'll have many decisions ahead about your child's welfare, and you'll have to make them alone for the most part. You may be resentful that you're suddenly in this parenting alone, especially if that's not how you intended it to be, but you can't change the past. It's time to live in the present and make a good life for you and your children.
Let go of the past and any negative feelings you have aboutbecoming a single parent. Make the most of your situation. Whether or not you're happy about being a single mother, it's time to accept it and learn to make the most of it. Let your children know that you're up to the challenge, particularly if you are a single parent because of the death of their father or because of divorce.
Your children need to know that you're confident and prepared. They've just had a big loss in their life, and they need to believe that you're able to provide and take care of them. Though there will be days when you don't have much confidence in yourself, you should be sure that your children know that you'll always be there for them and that you'll always figure out a way to make things work. They need the feeling of security now more than ever.
Not only do you need to feel good about your situation for your children, you need to do it for yourself. Struggling through life is a hard way to live. Take the steps you need to make a good life for you and your children. Make a plan and then make it a point to enjoy your new life.
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