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Raising An Emotionally Healthy Child Alone
from:Raising a child is one of life's most rewarding and challenging tests. It's a test with two people in a partnership, but sometimes, for any number of reasons, one is faced with meeting the challenge alone. Raising a child alone creates unique challenges for the single parent.
These tips for single moms or dads can help you succeed as a single parent.
Create a Positive Atmosphere
Whether you are positive or negative, your child is going to naturally learn from you and your outlook on life. If you're depressed or overwhelmed by parenting alone, your negative feelings are going to be your child's emotional nourishment during those most formative years.
Whatever the challenges and issues are, confront and resolve them. Find a way to develop a can-do upbeat attitude that you want your child to have. Being a positive role model is one of the most important things you can do for your child.
To help you gain a positive perspective, consider becoming involved in groups such as Parents Without Partners, Single Parents USA or other similar groups. In groups like these you will find other parents raising a child alone who have faced almost everything you may be experiencing and can help you find a way to gain a more positive outlook.
Don't Make Your Child Your Confidant
When you don't have a partner to share your feelings with, it's tempting or even natural to share those feelings with your child. Sharing your feelings with your child is a mistake. Children are not emotionally mature enough to accept the weight of a parent's issues.
Children are programmed to learn about life at a slower pace. Help your child to grow naturally by avoiding the urge to share your feelings. Find a trusted adult such as your parent, a pastor, a relative, a friend or a co-member of a support group to have those conversations with.
Be Consistent
Children require consistency. Parents raising a child alone tend to have a greater degree of uncertainty over choosing the correct parenting style. This can lead to changing their minds more frequently concerning house rules and discipline. This doesn't mean you should be unbending or rigid.
Your parenting style will naturally evolve as your child grows, and children are naturally adept at figuring out the rules of life. It's okay to bend the rules from time to time for special occasions and achievements. These special times teach your child about rewards and can be more effective than discipline in promoting positive behaviors.
By applying rules consistently during the various stages of a child's life, you encourage a more balanced emotional development. A well-behaved child will have a great positive impact on your parenting experience.
Avoid Putting Down Your Ex
Single parents with a surviving ex sometimes face the additional challenge of maintaining a cooperative coparenting relationship with an ex. At the very least, be civil at all times, even when you think your child can't hear your exchanges. Fighting between parents, whether living together or separately, is one of the most difficult situations a child has to endure.
It may be tempting to compete for your child's loyalty and affection by putting down the other parent. Sometimes it's subconsciously. Children innately love both their mother and father. One parent speaking ill of the other creates an inner conflict a child is not well equipped to deal with.
Develop a Support Network
One of the most difficult challenges of parenting alone is not having a partner to share parenting duties. If you can, develop a network of trusted friends or relatives who can provide the spirit of a loving family and alternate role models for your child. They can also be someone to talk to so you don't rely on your child for emotional support.
Situations will also come up when you need someone to take care of your child while you deal with some important matter. Occasionally you'll just need some "me time." A sitter can fulfill the role in a pinch, but a trusted friend or relative who is part of the child's daily life is a much better choice.
Be Discrete When Dating
Dating under normal circumstances can be challenging but for the single parent, it can be even more complicated, expecially when there is an ex involved. Casual dating should be seen as nothing more than you going out with a friend from your child's point of view. If you develop a serious relationship, you might want to seek the advice of experts regarding the healthiest way to explain your new relationship to your child in the most age-appropriate way.
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