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Single Father Parenting Stereotype

from: Karlie Bestler

Why is a single father parenting a child seen somehow more saintly than a single mother parenting a child? A single mother is sometimes viewed as irresponsible or selfish for not staying in a bad marriage for the sake of the children, but a single father parenting is seen as some kind of saint even if he instigated the divorce.

A single father parenting a child is somehow perceived to be:

*Selfless
*Dedicated
*Warm
*Responsible
*Capable

In the job market, if a single father has children, no one asks them to take less money for a job because the employer has to pay health care for the single father parenting a child. In fact an employer probably doesn't even ask if they are married or have children in the interview, unlike many businesses in different states that openly discriminate against single mothers. Single fathers are not questioned about their dedication to the job or if they think they can manage their responsibilities while being a single parent.

The stereotypes of single mothers parenting are different than those of single fathers parenting. If a single father is late for work because of a child, no one thinks about that being the reason. They will assume he hit a traffic jam. If a single mother hits a traffic jam and is late, she is viewed as being less dedicated and every action in the workplace is judged against her role as a single mother. It is assumed she must have been late because she was caring for one of her children. No one puts a single father parenting on the "Daddy Track" at work, but many women are put on the "Mommy Track" and their chances for promotion suffer.

A single father parenting may want the same rights as a single mother to have custody of the children, but most don't want to give up the obvious advantages that come with being male in terms of earning power and workplace status. He still wants to be perceived as totally dedicated to his job and able to manage his job responsibilities and home life no matter what the demands.

How will single fathers change the stereotypes in the workplace? It would be nice to think that single fathers would prove that discriminating against a single parent, whether male or female, is unacceptable. However, if the inequalities in the perception of males versus female caregivers are not addressed, the stereotypes will persist.

With a growing number of men seeking custody of their children, it will be interesting to see if the stereotypes change. If society is willing to accept that a single father is making huge sacrifices and performing a valuable service to the community and their children, why shouldn't the same respect be given to the women who are the breadwinners for their families?



 

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